6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
