i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
