Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
