I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
