dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
