Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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