There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
