Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
