It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
