At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
birth control should be required to get into college
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
