it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
