Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
smell my finger.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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