My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
