remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
