Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
