We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
