yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
