What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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