so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
