Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
