hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
