he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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