Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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