There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
