Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
