Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
