I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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