oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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