literally had 100 drinks last night.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
