Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
