it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
