and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
