We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
