dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
