i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
