we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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