Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
