It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
