I puked a lego.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
