Nicole vs. Life
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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