upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up under a house in Key West
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