whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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