i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
