Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
