Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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