Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
