I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
