i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
