she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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