How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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