some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize