Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
