I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize