If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
