i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
