No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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