I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
