tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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