Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
