what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
