oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
