it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
