i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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