Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize