i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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